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Where We've Always Been

by Career Day

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1.
Driving through Garden City and Hempstead Easy to see who The state cares to invest in Whose schools look just like mansions, while The Others look like rotting sheds As the county cuts the programs for finding new jobs As the cops round the block, all around the clock Have you seen enough yet? Are you not disgusted? Dividing lines, in black and white Our whole lives Born to endless class war, From the town bar to the schools board, We’ve gotta win with more than wishful thinking Driving through Floral Park “A Great Place to Live” At least the sign says it is Strange; they were forced to integrate their schools in the late ‘80s Explains why their kids my age express the same thoughts lately “A great place to live” All that “listening and learning” Now put some work in Are you standing by for action? Or just bystanding
2.
No Problem 02:25
You look so surprised And you get so offended to hear the word “racism” And how it’s ended our friendship Defend the killer cop demand the kneeling stop Well, is that ignorance coincidence? Well, I’m not losing shit. No problem, no problem All you ever wanna hear from me No problem, no problem The anthem of model minorities Don’t want me heard; just seen Colorful scenery Until I don’t agree That’s your problem That’s your problem now You ask me again: “Why [I] get so offended?” “It’s not like you’re one of them.” “Besides you know what I mean, man” “Look I’m not racist but” “Hey, man, my dads a cop” “Look,We’re all equal now, get over it” I know just what you meant
3.
Y’know I’m starting to think That the CO-EXIST bumper stickers Really ain’t doing much As bigots with a badge get righteous They call protests “riots” So I don’t think we’re winning with “love” How many times can they break our necks? We shake our fists till they do it again Divided, depressed, disarmed, dispossessed I fear for where we’re heading Where we’ve always been Another futile round Where we’re told how “Ya gotta be peaceful!” PBA, our stolen wage, prescriptions raised Killed daily by the state But “Ya gotta be peaceful!” Desperate times breed desperate men Dying for anything different Just mockingbirds Learning the language of violence So sing it back I guess it never ends So yeah, I’m starting to doubt What I was taught until now What use is morality in a duel? Hard not to want to give up The choices that they give us: Accomplice or target or just disregarded Lately I’ve struggled to find any worth To cry out for change with the limit of words The system just does what it’s been designed to do, A proper response feels long overdue It never ends It never ends It never ends It never [Chorus]
4.
A New Title 03:08
Used to be the one-foot-out, one-foot-in champion Run straight into the wave till it breaks Then head back to shore But ever since we met, you washed all that ambivalence Left me feeling so at peace, yet always wanting more Couldn’t be happier drowning since Finding out your eyes are oceans I’ve forgotten how to swim There’s a calmness in my limbs The lightness of letting you sink in Peace was the weekend spent in Providence Pleasure was the paycheck spent day-drinking down on Coney Island And every grain of sand tracked back to our apartment Was a souvenir of summer love that’s lasted years Oh, what a relief In a sea of uncertainty To know who I wanna float with I’m drowning I’m thinking (I’m drowning!) The former One-foot-out-one-foot-in champion Is in need of a new title
5.
Opposite Way 02:18
I’m pathetic, Let’s get that out the way Tried to be mature, But as you walked through the door The facade breaks I know I’m in my no place To care where Or who you’re with These days But please, please, please Please, don’t fucking do this to me Don’t know what to do When I’m in the same room as you Give me a map, tell me which road you choose I’ll go the opposite way as you Ask how I’ve been I’ve been living in the past When I thought we were for good Not just good while it lasted But it’s time to move on from The house inside my head A future unrequited That I cling to as it passes All the time We spent in love Was just one big Vacation from My miserable life Telling lies that I’m fine As the ceiling engulfs my stare
6.
If Only 03:11
See it on your face The last thing that you need’s another cliche Of “how to be brave” Or “maybe there’s another place” Heard that it’s enough To just be there For one’s deepest, darkest days As I see you in utter despair I wish I had more to say If only I could Find some source of healing I’d share it with you For the rest of your life And maybe for a moment Find solace through the sorrow Enough to finally fall asleep at night Linger on in the shower Knowing what awaits Hang my head in shame As I make amends at a wake Learning how to cope through now-one-sided anecdotes The joy infinite Gone in an instant It always hurts like hell like this I’ll Do my best To make myself useful I’ll Do my best To pass along the beautiful As the tragic becomes the usual If only I could sleep tonight, I’d maybe find some peace alive
7.
Shouldn’t take a eulogy For me to show some gratitude I’ll spare the long-winded critique I know affection is decades overdue Don’t think I have enough pictures of you Thinking I’ll go and get a tribute tattoo As a testament to the influence so permanent ‘Cuz I’m afraid how memories fade It’s just the family way Through all the darkest times We always could find laughter Tiny sparks of joy Became a trusty lantern Thanksgiving Popeyes Ocean Loop long drives Letting me watch Billy Madison When I turned 7 Bright spots through hardest times I know they happened because you tried I know I always focus More on thorns than roses Feeling so much shame for Fields of love I’ve felt But I don’t show More than photos, More than ink Gotta make more time To tell you Thanks for everything
8.
Party's Over 03:37
Have you cleaned the confetti yet From the low-bar parade That you still somehow celebrate Cuz the kids are still caged And the ocean’s ablaze Yet you still go on as if Mission Accomplished The enemy of my enemy Could never be my friend Get me the fuck out of this tent With what little decency I have left The party’s over Almost took you at your word, While you waited on hors d’oeuvres, That you’d come off of the sidelines But care was just another gimmick You consumed till you felt finished Your team won, thats enough, you’re satisfied Until you see solidarity As more than a seasonal hobby Get me the fuck out of this tent With what little time I have left The party’s over Lucky you Lucky The luxury of the phew The Luxury of the phew When the crosshairs not on you That greedy exhales gotten stale Don’t you say? As you’re chanting USA We cant agree to disagree With ignorance so damn deadly Get me the fuck out of this tent With what little hope I have left The party’s over
9.
Wonder what the point is To all this noise I end up disappointed Or just destroyed by The inaction of well-intentioned People like my friends Who seem to be supportive Of the good fight But when it’s time to take the streets They’re rarely by my side And I’m left wondering What I’m doing That never breaks through Thanks for listening It hardly shows Thanks for hearing as my heart implodes Always gotta display Our starkest truths Is it just a bored game? Trivial Pursuit With questions asked, more time passes But nothings really learned It’s been such a struggle To stay aware Trying to stay hopeful That people care Perhaps seeing me so unwell Is not a selling point But then again You always keep me in check Even when I’m so damn trying So thanks for that I’m glad to have your ear to spill out all my fears So thanks for that I’m glad to have your ear to spill out All my fears Thanks for Listening It hardly shows Thanks for listening at all Thanks for listening My heart implodes At the looming thought This is all For naught
10.
Stayed up too late again watching I Think You Should Leave Now you’re fast asleep And I’m left with my thoughts (Oh god) You’re the one thing keeping me from Panic! At the dystopia lucky that the love that found us Isn’t easily lost You are the answer You are the end To the 21,000 Questions As the day gets me so unglued I’m kept together by the thought of you No question how I’m getting by It’s always you, every time Heading home from Sunday errands, you’re in the passenger seat Happy, hand in hand, and then I go And think of “What Sarah Said” Get morose and obsessive Thinking of what love survives If we are lucky enough I hope it’s an endless ride I don’t forget Back when we met Didn’t have a pillow under my head So fortunate, To be so restless yet never have a doubt on where I’ve made my bed As the world Engulfs in flames I’m whisked away As you talk about your day Worst case scenario I’ll dance At the end of time With you It’s always you Every time

credits

released August 12, 2022

Written and performed by:
Desmond Zantua - vocals
Jacob Cutler - guitar / back up vocals
Andrew Grossane - bass
Bryan McElwain - drums

Recorded by Matt Lagatutta at Flying Carpet Studio
Mixed and Mastered by Billy Mannino at Two Worlds Recording Studio

Album art by Dan Buksa

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Career Day Queens, New York

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